I'm back...I promise to try and update my personal blog more.
Even though it's been over a year since the last miscarriage -
going to the shrine at innocents.com helped me a lot.
It made me sentimental a bit, and I even called my husband and told him despite everything that I still love him.
Does this means that I want him back? No. It was not an emotionally healthy relationship for me.
I understand that now. I'm moving on with help from my friends and my church.
We're still fighting about the divorce and his promises of financial help. Because right now I'm shouldering all the burden and up to my neck in bills and debt that we both should be responsible for. That's part of the problem - I can't afford a lawyer. I save but then something comes up and there goes the little nest I saved.
It's difficult because I'm back to living with my mom. And at 33 years old, that's not something I envisioned. But there's also my mom's health that I have to take into account. So it's good in a way that I'm with her because I can help her out and take care of her.
Right now she's doing better. We haven't had a bad episode in a few weeks.
Sigh. But that's my life. And I'm not complaining just venting and unloading a bit because stress can kill.
And what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I know in my heart that things will get better, that I can do it and make it thrugh this tough period. It's only a matter of time, only a matter of getting to the light at the end of the tunnel and forging ahead.